... in your thesis defense.
1. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the singing of our
National Anthem..."
2. Charge 25 cents a cup for coffee.
3. "Charge the mound" when a professor beans you with a high fast
question.
4. Describe parts of your thesis using interpretive dance.
5. "Musical accompaniment provided by..."
6. Stage your own death/suicide.
7. Lead the specators in a Wave.
8. Have a sing-a-long.
9. "You call THAT a question? How the hell did they make you a
professor?"
10. "Ladies and Gentlemen, as I dim the lights, please hold hands and
concentrate so that we may channel the spirit of Lord Kelvin..."
11. Have bodyguards outside the room to "discourage" certain
professors from sitting in.
12. Puppet show.
13. Group prayer.
14. Animal sacrifice to the god of the Underworld.
15. Sell T-shirts to recoup the cost of copying, binding, etc.
16. "I'm sorry, I can't hear you - there's a banana in my ear!"
17. Imitate Groucho Marx.
18. Mime.
19. Hold a Tupperware party.
20. Have a bikini-clad model be in charge of changing the overheads.
21. "Everybody rhumba!!"
22. "And it would have worked if it weren't for those meddling
kids..."
23. Charge a cover and check for ID.
24. "In protest of our government's systematic and brutal opression
of minorities..."
25. "Anybody else as drunk as I am?"
26. Smoke machines, dramatic lighting, pyrotechnics...
27. Use a Super Soaker to point at people.
28. Surreptitioulsy fill the room with laughing gas.
29. Door prizes and a raffle.
30. "Please phrase your question in the form of an answer..."
31. "And now, a word from our sponsor..."
32. Present your entire talk in iambic pentameter.
33. Whine piteously, beg, cry...
34. Switch halfway through your talk to Pig Latin. Or Finnish Pig
Latin.
35. The Emperor's New Slides ("only fools can't see the writing...")
36. Table dance (you or an exotic dancer).
37. Fashion show.
38. "Yo, a smooth shout out to my homies..."
39. "I'd like to thank the Academy..."
40. Minstrel show (blackface, etc.).
41. Previews, cartoons, and the Jimmy Fund.
42. Pass the collection basket.
43. Two-drink minimum.
44. Black tie only.
45. "Which reminds me of a story - A Black guy, a Chinese guy, and a
Jew walked into a bar..."
46. Incite a revolt.
47. Hire the Goodyear Blimp to circle the building.
48. Release a flock of doves.
49. Defense by proxy.
50. "And now a reading from the Book of Mormon..."
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1 comment:
A typical thesis has a title page, an abstract, a table of contents, a body, comprising the various chapters, and a bibliography or (more usually) a references section.Reading this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!
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